Monday, October 12, 2009

what is ttyl?

It was a monday in the festive season I had been called to office just to do some sort of knowledge transfer before I could  go for a much awaited vacationn by me. Although I could have left the previous weekend if I didn't had to be there on monday for that some out of the world KT damn I don't know why people have so much dependency upon some one, I mean it has been almost 6 months when last I was on a planned vacation and then too people in my team felt as if they have done a favour or some sort of boon by allowing me to utilise my hard earned vacations... wait a minute this post is not abt all this crap!! So as I wasvery much bored up and frustrated too so I decided to roam here and there with friends or write something sitting there but I had such a frustation inside me that sitting at one place nearly became impossible and as expected it was a monday so frnds from the office where busy in planning there weeks work, and as usual meetings. So I had a lots of time too kill!!

Well I had time but no Idea what to do so then I thought of a great idea... I thought of why not chat with 'rab ji' so then I started preparing my self. It took two visits to SZ and three cups of tea and four to five times I had to go to the loo to get free from natural calls so that they don't disturb me when I'm in middle of any converstion with 'rab ji'. Oh ahh  boring monday at office suddenly got filled with so much excitement and such a levelof annxiety got engrossed into me.

It took me two hours beefor I could pinged her!! then I said 'Hi ******' and started praying hey god please please... I must  get a reply this time then in anxiety I sent another message 'Hey you there?' then I got the reply 'yes' followed by 'h' followed by '*hi' and I thought is she in hurry to somewhere or much busy and relaized 'damn! I have once again caught her in wrong time...', you know every time I collect some courage to talk to her it's my hard luck that very moment she is busy with her work :(  Anways this time she started replying the cht lasted for some time or so. Then she said
'hey i'm lil busy'
'wud ttyl'

hmmm 'ttyl' what is this? I was in a position of shock and awe!!, shock because I was left with no answer and awe because I had no clue what did 'wud ttyl' meant. Now what do I have? I asked my self and started figuring out ttyl... hmmm... is it titali (butterfly)? nah why all of a sudden she would say 'wud titali' I mean it doesn't at all makes sense. After that to many thoughts started crossing my head and then I relized I have my very intelligent blood relation from the fairer sex on the other side of another chat window... hey she must be knowing what is ttyl. Suddenly I was having my phone in my hand and the next no i dialled was of her.

me: Hey, chat window dekh..
She: kya hua?
me:bas dekh..
She: ye kya hai?
me: ye mujhe mer rab jee neping kiya hai.
She: to?
me: Iska kya matlab hai?
She: Mujhe kya interprator samjh rakha hai... bhag jaa yahan se.. mere pass koi kaam nahi hai lekin tere pass to hai kar shanti se..
me: plz bata de dost... plzz...
She: arrey dumbo itna bada ho gaya aur iss lingo ka matlab bhi nhi pta hai.
me: Arey nahi pata hai isiliye to pucha hai bata de...
She: She meant that she would talk to you later i.e. 'wud ttyl'.
me: is it so?
She: haan!
me: chal phone rakh jaldi se.
She: haan cal bhag ja and ab paise lagenge interprate karne ke!!

ok! so she meant would talk to you later... hmmm... damn ye kya hai? I'm so poor in this lingo!! but hey gr8... It took me around half an hour and even help from someone, so what is the point in using such lingo or is this at all a valid question to be asked? or rather it should be that is it at all a good idea to chat with someone without knowing all this lingo that is being used this days? Once again she intricate my thoughts!!

Friday, August 28, 2009

What is Hope?

Is it just four letter word, or picture back in the head, or say our own self itself!! Well last night after some introspection I thought to write down whatever crosses my mind. Initially I planned to write 12 liner but then to realization I found out that limiting hope to few words isn't just enough and it even gets worse if you are a optimist+lucky guy like me. So thought writing it down as follows.

This is hope. 

It is a direct statement. There is no word in that simple phrase that doesn’t push you on to the period. This is hope. Three words that make you instantly picture something. Images of what you believe hope is, and what hope isn’t. It is a phrase that conjures up contradictions. It almost dares you to say this isn’t hope. It’s a battle cry, and yet, it’s also a whispered plea.

Hope is such a vague thing. What is hope? Can you quantify it? Is it a feeling? Is it fact? These are good questions, and you know what, we don’t have all the good answers. We’re no different than you. We wake up and struggle through each and every day; we stretch our money, we make mistakes, just like you. Our addictions are no different than yours, our selfish desires and lustful actions mirror yours to a tee. We smile at life’s simple pleasures just like you, and when we’re happy, our laugh sounds a lot like yours. Only facial features and t-shirt sizes determine our difference. However, what we do have is what hope means to us. We believe hope is the desire, the belief, that the next step on the road of life can be better than the last. Hope is what keeps us from withering up and dying. It is the broken dream that has been swept away and been replaced by a new one. It is the broken bone that can mend. It is the lesson learned. It is the lessons yet to be learned. It is the desire to keep moving forward, if for no other reason, than it beats standing still. It is the realization that life is bigger than the problems, hurts, struggles, and confusions that seem like they are going to crush us from the moment we wake up every morning. This is hope.

Look to the stars and realize that we are small, that the world is old, and we are young. Find hope in that. This is hope is a company that is more like a mantra. It is a battle cry and a prayer. It is for the atheist and the believer. It is for the young and the old. Hope is for every person of every race, gender, religion, it is for the rich and it is for the poor. No one should be denied hope. We all need hope. We all have hope. We all are hope. Still I'm unable to picture Hope clearly... What is hope?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

rain in the abandoned city

Soon it begins to shower
and the droplets pick up their speed
spraying water all over
not knowing any caste or creed

but still the sun lights up sky with sunshine
and in heavens above there takes birth a rainbow
pouring rain now seems like god's own wine
while rainbow throwing it's spectacular color-show

Life to me never meant so meaningful
and everything never seemed so good
yes, the world now looked so beautiful
admiring it's creator while I stood!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Love Love Love!!

The next time you hear someone saying "love happens!! It's something out of our control" give a tight slap to him/her from me....

The saying is biggest myth the mankind has woven around itself in my opinion or else read below and answer me....

I was full of mirth, was enjoying my so called single or in some peoples opinion 'gayist life' then someone said hey why don't you look for a girl? to add some spice to your perfect happy life I replied to her "thanks but no thanks I'm happy the way I'm, and do you wish me to go far away from you in hibernation just caressing someone". Then the same topic was raised by another friend of mine and this time again and again... in the starting it had no effect on me but then as we all tend to form a view by persuasion of our near and dear one's even I started having a serious view about it. Suddenly I was amidst of something I had never thought would be. And people made me fall in love again!!

Here I'm in love dunno if fallen or risen but yeah in love from all that I own all my senses and all my feelings entire day entire night. As I said I never gave a thought to fall in love so had no idea what should I do or hat should i be like. I fell in love with a girl whose name few months back was so tough to remember that I always used to forget. once I remember I was embarrassed by this to, in an party she was on the dais dancing I loved that dance and as song was 'chaliya chaliya' which was a song that was on all of ours mind so simply made me curious abt that girl and as I was unable to get her name so I asked one of her close friend "hey, she is some girl who had joined with us" I got the reply with her name but then she added "some girl?" as if I was a playboy or so... at that point she was nothing more than a cute girl to be admired then the days passed and people around me started persuading me more seriously to fall in love. In the last winter a movie got released 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi' and when i watched it I was quite impressed by the idea of it specially a song of it 'tujh mein rab dikhta hai'. I started thinking that's what would happen to me when I fall in love!! Suddenly one day of winter I realized since past few months then she was the girl knowingly or unknowingly i was checking her out and she too. Then gradually I even realized 'tujhme rab dikhta hai' and then I knew I have fallen in love.

Hence further as never wanted to make my love public so that that cute little girl never gets hurt knowing this so named her 'rab ji' and she was every where inside, outside, thoughts, days night and every where. In her love I started writing again and what I found my writing streak was strongest till sate now people even started loving it as I'm not trying to praise myself I got a info that someone took my poem to gifted it to his fiance on V-day. And this is the reason I said I don't know whether I fell in love or did rise?

But it became painful as I had no idea what should i do being a novice in all this so couldn't handle it at all. i went into deep depression. But one more good happened I did quit many habits that really never where meant tome and which I had picked up just out of curiosity in teenage so love again helped me.

Till date i haven't told her abt all this but the fact is I'm in love and ready for a commitment of life and hence after. I know a solution to it but I don't have the slightest of idea how to implement it.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

my wishlist!!

As my b'day is nearing for this year I have come up with this wishlist for next year...

1. Share space in a snap with 'Priyanka Chopra'.
2. I know I can't sing, but still want to record a song with whatever I have ;)
3. Win a laureate in photography.
4. Backpacking and getting lost in some state...
5. Learn a foreign language may be french or Hebrew.
6. Writing an exam whose examination center is a all Girls College just to experience how a boy would use a girls toilet :)
7. Let everyone know how much I love each of them and that to without getting drunk!!
8. Getting a book published of my poems dedicated to her and handing her the first copy of it , as all my writing belongs to her!!
9. Be a friend of her!!
10. Enjoy a weekend with her caressing her, roaming with her & cooking for her...



so friends this is all I have to ask for in the year ahead and for rest of that I need I can handle it with all your blessings and by the grace of god affection of my mother :)