Thursday, February 4, 2010

Insanity & Me

Someone once said:

"When you fall in love you go into a state of insanity where you lose control of yourself, consciously or unconsciously. What matters is you fall in love with someone who won't take advantage of your insanity but will respect you and take the responsibility of being loved by an insane person."

I feel that the above lines are the most appropriate description of what happens after the fall. INSANE hmm... very true... through all my life I used to see people doing, thinking even feeling bizarre things when the bug bite them. During those days I used to feel how can someone be so insane? I just had a feeling that either you are in love or you aren't so why to act insanely.

But as they say experience is something that has the potential to change everything. In the initial part of my life before the fall I was a happy-go-lucky type of boy. Even my superior pointed out how carefree I could be. But aside from being easygoing, I like to believe that I'm still capable of being earnestly thoughtful when the situation requires me to be one. As much as possible I shy away from seriousness of life because the subjects are both too simple and too complex for me. So that was already insane enough for today's world and all that happened after the fall. It made me completely vulnerable for the entire world.

Why vulnerable? Let me explain:
"happy-go-lucky" I was happy go lucky kind of a boy but since my fall I have become a person who believes in luck so much that even the almighty would shy away from that feeling of mine. I know if someday I meet god he wouldn't have anything to offer to me from the stores of love because believing in luck has made me a complete sorry ar*e in this department. For rest I'm fine and on my toes.

"easygoing" Since I was wounded by cupids arrow I have acted such insanely in front her that if even she had forbearance of Mahatma(Gandhi) she would killed me for all that insanity that I have showed her(I don't know what stops her from doing so). Sweetheart you are one kind soul I can tell.

"earnestly thoughtful" I don't have much to say on this. It's just that on an average day I take out time to think as much as I used to do it in an year few months back.

"shy" on this I miss the title of King of Shyness as we don't have one & my gender doesn't allows me to have the title of Queen of Shyness. I'm pretty sure that even the Mimosa leaves would be a thousand times much bolder than me. Call me a jerk, nut or an ar*e now even I have accepted it.

At the end you must be thinking why am I writing all this while I could have used this space to describe all the rocket science I keep on doing day long.But the fact is I don't do any rocket science or I'm involved in any sort of artistic dime. The matter of fact is I'm in love & I can proudly say I haven't fallen rather risen in it. At times I'm a visionary and the very next moment I feel like a denied child. I have faith in my insanity & all my love. Trust me this is not at all INSANE...

Monday, February 1, 2010

I love...

I love WRITING. I think that goes without saying but there you go. I like reading too. As much as I love writing, I guess. Singing is another favorite activity. Dancing with my friends too. Cooking soothes me.My friends always laugh at me when I daydream my life. It keeps me entertained. I love watching movies/TV series. I have this tendency to deliberately postpone watching a particular movie if my friends keep on urging me to watch the said film. I just remembered the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Friends kept on telling me to watch the movie. I always make non-committal promises but my curiosity was stirred. When they stop suggesting the movie, I watched the film. I'm such a brat. :-)

I also love thinking about the future. Daydreaming? Planning? I dunno. I can stay up all night just thinking and planning what to do the next day, the next week, the next year. It doesn't matter to me if my plans are not all fulfilled. What's important, at least for me, is the fact that I have a vision and I quite know what I want in life.

I love shopping. Shopping-Shopping minus Window-shopping . I enjoy looking at pretty things. It doesn't have to be a book, a dress or a pair of shoes (though, these are my favorites). I enjoy strolling even at the kitchen and appliance area of the store. I'm such a mall rat.

Another activity that I really, really like to do is to make little surprises for my loved ones. I smile at the thought of making them happy. If someone borrows a book from me, I usually insert little notes of friendship or personal messages. Sometimes, I leave hi's and hello's at my friends. They don't have to see the note after I wrote them. I specially like the feeling when a phone call or a text message of thanks from them will color my ordinary days. I also love sending flowers and snail mails. I want to send a blue rose to her office someday ;-)

Another thing that I like to do is to listen. Even when I'm working, I like to listen at the lull of the music. I like to listen to some particular songs when I'm taking a bath. I like to listen at the sound of the pouring rain. I like to listen at my loved one's stories- my parent's endless chats about what they're doing when I go home, my friends' anecdotes and tales of their love life and problems. Listening comes first for me than talking.

When I look back I find nothing that I hate. I fall in love with people, things, places, events everything rather very easily. I welcome everything with a open heart in my life. But here there is something I hate the most, People bitching about each other. I have feeling that if you're not righteous you start bitching about people to cover your wrongness. Why do I have to envy someone when by some hard work, dedication and some spice of luck I can achieve almost everything.Anyways who cares about all those thy and thees.

I love my life, and my vision for life. If you would trust me that's the reason I have such a big friend circle. So fall in love with your life and see how good everything would turnout to be. Let's call it a end after all I'm not a philosopher to unravel all this to you I know you know it already. So in the end just keep loving to be loved.