Tuesday, December 29, 2009

any takers???

Since my professional life kicked off, I have changed a lot, and a lot implies a lot. I used to be an extrovert by every means throughout school days, college days & college nights. Since past 12 months from I have transformed into a introvert. This introverts of mine that has creep-ed in has even offended someone and thank god for my concise that helped me apologize then to her.People have even started calling me 'bade log' hmmm... god is great!! Sarkar himself calls me bade log. Anyways I personally feel this is not introverts in fact it's something else. I thought of getting it out and then the below was spilled off by my, so happy reading or rather bugging :)

"...Do you ever get tired of being who you are?I mean seriously, do you ever wonder what would it be like to be someone different...no I don't mean a celebrity, or a personal ideal or the one you are jealous of (oh yes you do!! you want to be just like someone you are jealous of!you wish all the time!!)....although all of these would also qualify for this context, I don't mean some other person at all....not like someone else, just different from who you are...and just to make things a tad more complicated, I'm not talking of self improvements, introspection and all that psychological jargon either, coz what is normal and acceptable is also relative to our surroundings, to others around us...

So here's what we have so far, you can't be your favorite celebrity, your ideal, your envy not even your better self, just different!! Do you ever want to be something different, as you??"

"God dk!!! you're crazy!! please stop driving me nuts!!"

and hence my friend brushed me off...I guess more than being irritated, she took the question as a personal offense. For at that time she was deeply engrossed discussing people with other people, yes yes, gossiping, something she knows I detest greatly. Some one said "Small discuss people, 'bujuwa' discuss events & great discuss ideas (remember an Idea can change life)" hmmm... rubbish, oblivious to all but yet some truth buried deep inside... just think or should I say jushhttt imagine!!

But then may be a personal offense is how anyone will take it, may be that's how I would take it if I was at the receiving end. Is it because we are so conceited or that we at least like to put up the facade of conceit....for we know what we lack, but we don't want others to find out.Having others know our weaknesses make us feel vulnerable in front of them and hence scared of being taken for a ride. But then, this fear is not entirely unfounded, people use other people, that why they call it a "jungle" right!! "the survival of the fittest!!" ??? or is it the survival of the one who puts up the best facade, has the maximum layers hiding his weaknesses, can fool the maximum number of people?? why are we then taught things like "good wins over evil"...and "honestly is the best policy" when you actually should excel in getting things done, your way!

But I digress, and greatly so. This post is not meant to be a rhetoric on the world today, I just wish to find out answers to a simple question....do we ever realize if what we think are our weaknesses, are actually our weaknesses or are they hidden strengths which we keep trying to eliminate by wanting to be someone minus those weaknesses, while our actual weaknesses remain beyond the horizons of acceptance of them, lost forever into the realms of denial.

I have seen people, yes I have this obsessive compulsion disorder of silently observing people, at times with an amused smile, asking awkward questions which almost always offend them and then writing/analyzing them!!! but I have seen people making the same mistake repeatedly throughout their lives, and cribbing over it, blaming God, destiny, people, the world, even abstract theories, all this just to escape a true introspection, I mean a true one, not where you already know,or think that you know, what went wrong and all your introspection is actually an effort to reinforce a justification of self-exoneration.Thank god!! For giving me strength to face myself, this implies I introspect myself...So, They never actually find out what went wrong, though I don't know if they do during the last moment of being alive, I hope they don't, or else we would all die with a realization that came in too late to improve and yet too soon to not leave a regret.

But then Who gets to decide what is a weakness anyway....what do you call a weakness, as another crazy...err I mean philosophical friend put it once ..."you have just qualities, it is the context which makes them strengths or weaknesses"...if that is what is it, then what do you call being self aware?? I guess its just about figuring out all your qualities and learning to pick which one, where, how, and how much!!!

But all this is useless, because ultimately aren't we all searching for happiness, and honestly, no!!! honestly!! aren't we the happiest when we are proven right, to ourselves and to others, or perhaps when we can make people admit that they were wrong. isn't there a masochistic pleasure we get is whining because that gives us sympathy and attention?? No no no, the strong and silent types, so to speak, get even more attention and sympathy by visibly hiding their pain!!! So perhaps what we actually run after is general acknowledgment and admiration of the society, may be because that is our sole parameter of happiness. Validation by others who surround us, whether it comes as sympathy or admiration or even envy for that matter, (for you envy some one only when you want to be like them and know that you cant be), but a validation nonetheless.

So if the self exonerating introspection works every-time in gaining us some more attention, sympathy and acceptance then why even bother for anything else?? why do we need to term anything as weakness or a strength, we just need to figure out all our qualities and learn to pick which one, where, how, and how much will be the most effective in gaining us the attention, sympathy or admiration!!!

any takers??? Please don't mind if you're bugged, I do apologize for it from bottom of my heart and a true smile on my face. And to those it didn't concerned so may be below link adds something to your day or say, mood!!

Oh, Sorry if that bothered you!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Rotten Feeling

'A Rotten Feeling' hun ahhh... what do you mean by this? I guess nothing, come on man I wrote this because I couldn't find any better word(s). Anyways after few brain storming sessions with my inner self I realized some thing. Now I thought why not pen down so that on some other rainy day is I need to realize it any more with the same intensity that I did last time it would be easier for me get back here and read it once again. So, A Rotten Feeling as per me is any feeling or just any thought you haven't expressed it till date to the outer world, and as the days grow and nights pass it starts growing bigger by every passing moment. It's even quite possible that someday it would be all over you!! and trust me just when you would start thinking that you are in intense pain and its so intense that it could rip your soul apart. You would try to cry that out to the world & if you fail doing so, again you would be in deep shit completely buried but, that very moment something strange would happen. fushhhh... all the pain is gone, the feeling is gone & the pain is all flushed away. This is 'A Rotten Feeling'.

You would have heard people saying neither happiness nor pains does stays for too long, just in a similar way nor does feeling live long. I don't mean that feelings die off, but they do loose ground. However craving we are for that feeling a day would surely come when it would swap places from some other one. Its just matter of time when and what triggers this graveyard shift, but 'Yes' it's bound to happen. After all we are child of the great god and he can't let us be in pain or greed for much long.

I hope all that was not philosophical crap :) anyways what brought this out of me? From past many years a friend of mine had something for me but she never told me anything. We used to be just like other up-teen friends, who had gala time every time they met. Even I don't know what was on my mind all those days that I was unable to see what she used to feel. Then one day I got a call from her.She sounded really joyous, although I was not in a great mood that morning but after I heard all her giggling even I caught that infection of happiness. Then she said 'dk I met someone few days back, with whom my parents are trying to fix me up. Initially I couldn't think of all that then, I met him one day and I found him interesting. We started talking and it has been a while we are checking around. Now I feel that I have for him'. I if love was great then this was something really better than that. So finally someone around has fallen for love and the better thing they are together. I was obviously happy with that. But then suddenly I found her voice getting heavy over the phone. I was unable to understand, I mean she isn't getting married this very moment so she can still live with her parents, what she loves the most, for few more days so why is she getting so low.

'You know, for years I used to feel the same for you!! But I knew you never were inclined to any of it. Slowly from past few days that feeling started killing me when we started talking less and reached to its high. And as you always say no bliss lasts for ever, even no pain lasts for ever. This happened!! But still I miss those feelings' she said in alternating tone between sorrowfulness and happiness. I was left dumbstruck. I felt as if I'm bugged, I'm crapped, I'm lost, I'm ripped apart. I don't know but it's something much worse than worst.Now I don't want any feeling to creep inside my mind. I don't want to hurt someone & at the same time I'm kinda into liking someone else and I don't want to loose my feelings for her. Then she said 'don't worry dk, that feeling has rotten and is no more inside me it's just that love for that feeling is just left. And take my advice the feelings that you are cradling inside you, just go and express it all to your 'rab ji' before that to rotten away . Best of luck & I pray your feelings live and cherish for your lifetime!!' after this she hung up the phone.

I realized how true she was!! Really no bliss lasts forever...

Happy Journey!!

life is weird. We keep living it with certain beliefs , notions and ideas about ourselves, our society , and the people in it. Whether its are our friends, family or the rest of the world ranging from the US president to our local fruit vendor, we have at least a basic understanding of each. And hence of their actions.At least that's what we think.

What we don't know baffles us and with certain exceptions (such as maths in my case), we keep trying to figure it out. If we know at least the people around us and understand their thoughts and actions, it gives us a sense of deep rooted security. It is this which makes moving to a new home or a job so difficult. You don't know anyone or anything there. You feel uprooted, in-secured and alone. But what do you do when without as much as throwing a pebble in the calm waters of a peaceful and harmonious life, things suddenly turn upside down, well metaphorically. I am not talking about sudden deaths or natural calamities that do indeed turn your life upside down, I am talking of things that are more intangible and though I could not possibly undermine the impact of the tangible disastrous, these are intangible only by nature, for their impact can be as devastating, or at least confusing.

As children, our parents are our first ideals, we want to be just like them when we grow up. I remember, well actually my mother does not let me forget, though she remembers it fondly and embarrassingly in front of all our relatives, how I used to put on her makeup and take her bag and pretend that I was going to a party , when I was 5, just like her.

And as we grow, we idealize more and more elders around us, our teachers, elder siblings, some relatives. And but for the exception of the teens, when movie, rock, and sports stars don't really leave space for anyone else to be idealized, there are always people around us we admire for some reason or the other. And it is this knowledge which makes us feel that we know the people around us.

But what do you do when you realize the one quality you admired somebody for, was just a facade put up for a great show. What do you do when you realize a person you admired for his unaffected, dropped it like a hot brick at the first instant of possible benefit to be attained from shrewdness. Or someone you thought believed in honesty was lying all along. Or someone who loathed quite unequivocally, crafty maneuvers, turn out to be quite adept at using them for short term benefits?

What do you do, when right after you think you have got somebody all figured out, you realize things were wrong from day one? What do you do when life spins completely out of control at the very moment when you thought the sailing was smooth?

You feel lost. and doubtful. of yourself. your judgment. and your own ideas and beliefs. Everything is shaken. But most of all, you doubt if the principles you have set for your own self are correct or not. Perhaps what somebody has done is not wrong, and you are being too impractical and unrealistic.Perhaps what somebody is the right way to do things and it should be, for they are happy aren't they??

You ponder over it for days , weeks, at times even months at end, till it slowly recedes into the background of your mind. Sometimes it changes the way you think, and you adapt in order to survive more successfully, but mostly it vanishes as yet another rock that slowly sank in and the surface became calm again. And though it does at times cause permanent damage to your opinion and perhaps relationship with that person, and make the water bed rockier, you just learn to recuperate from the storm and keep sailing forth. Trying to figure life out, you start all over again. And though you can't predict nor avoid the next storm , whether it should leave you wiser or embittered, is entirely up to you and that is what makes that elusive thing, called happiness , attainable. So happy journey! why? you're not going anywhere, am right? Bugger life is journey so Happy Journey once again :)

Monday, December 21, 2009

"Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh"

I don't want to take my eyes away from the view that surrounds me.But it is this view which fills me with so many in suppress able thoughts that I must express.For a long time now, my mind has been cluttered, too cluttered. Its amazing how sitting here can make one feel at peace, with oneself and with the rest of the world.When we walk around in the world,we think of many things, how we walk, talk, what we say, want, we live according to what others expect, friends, parents, teachers, society.Sometimes, trying to fill expectations, we mold ourselves so much we lose some part of ourselves."What do I want?me. just me. not anyone else." Then its time to realize, to recede back to your haven, to get back in touch with yourself.

The sight that surrounds me is nothing spectacular, just some trees, lush grass, a few birds who got up a little late in the day and are still looking for food, some others flying in groups, as if a practicing flying in formation. But they remind me of myself. Away from this world, they take me to the world I'd rather be in, a world which accepts me the way I am, embraces my weaknesses, appreciates my strengths, a world which loves me,with a love that is unconditional, non judgmental.

For a while.Then it reminds me of the world I live in.The expectations, from me, my behavior, my choices, my actions,these are what really give me a purpose.It reminds me that expectations that others' have matter so much because they are a reflection of my own expectations from myself which have been formed by theirs.Its a cycle.A cycle called life.

We are what we are because of the world we live in.We want what we want because we love the world we live in.The one outside shapes the one inside our hearts.The world we'd rather be in. In my case, idyllic nature.
And the two are not different. They complement one another.

And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am...

I am what I am and that is what gives me my purpose in life.

Inspired by some ones signature that said:
"Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh"(I am what I am)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Not so obliviously obvious!!

Despite all my senses rebelling hard and strong, screaming of fatigue, I had been forcing myself to concentrate on my screen and at least finish the task at hand. After about a half hour of relentless struggle on both sides, my senses, with my eyes leading their front, won. I shut my monitor and moved out of my office. And suddenly it hit me. The air outside was perfectly still and calm, as if at the advent of a storm. Laced with the fragrance of daisies, almost bitterly mixed with that of wet cement and sand, the night felt like a strange mix of eerie and heavenly. Almost as if drawn against my will, I went to take a walk.

An early Winter night, the on-spring of the much awaited Christmas-new year festive season as well as the much anticipated harsh yet-not-to-be-missed winters, I wasn't walking exploring new arenas. Everything looked as it should have. The ubiquitous silence and stillness could be attributed to the reasonable assumption that everyone must have been out, celebrating a stray holiday in the middle of the week, hence explaining the lack of any famous soaps sounding off TV sets, the noise of loud air-coolers, even the regular parking and reversing car alarms. Logically, everything made sense, and there was nothing wayward. And yet the night's touch felt only faintly familiar. The stillness of the night had enveloped the entire neighborhood. It was only 8 PM, and though the markets outside must have been bustling with people, the absence of human life in the area seemed unnatural. Even the stray dogs, which never fail to make their presence felt, seemed too quiet, too meek for comfort. A sudden chill made me shudder. I instinctively pulled my jacket closer and hastened my step back towards home.

Suddenly, at about 50 meters away from my comfort zone, power went out and I was engulfed in complete darkness. “Just a power-cut; no need to over-react!” I convinced myself. Then, I heard footsteps: calm and deliberate walking towards me. I hugged myself and gingerly looked around. A woman, walking towards his home, with his dog, looked at me and passed a courteous smile. She seemed unfazed, almost enjoying the dark and still night. Needless to say I was scared, and the fact that she hadn't been anywhere around a few moments ago didn't help. Clutching my racing heart, I smiled back weakly, and walked as fast as I could to my office, sometimes breaking into a sprint.

As soon as I reached office, I stopped dead in the tracks. The front entrance was ajar, the house pitch dark and hauntingly silent. Pushing the main gate further, I traded silently inside, and went straight up to my floor. I saw my drawer, It was locked. I knew I hadn’t locked it. I fumbled for my set of keys in my jacket, I didn’t have them. More baffled than ever, I called my colleagues. No one answered. Taking a deep breath, I fumbled for the switch, put one foot out and let out a gasp....the deserted  floor, which had been intact till few moments bask, was missing. The entire floor had been dug at least 3 feet.

Praying hard that the digging was due to the ongoing renovation, I was about to turn around and go to my room, when I thought I heard the sound of running water. Maybe someone had left a tap running, and I had missed the sound before. I turned it off. I had walked barely 20 steps away, when I heard the same sound. This time it was a different tap. By now things were getting too much for me and I was nearing complete panic and frenzy at an alarming speed. There was no one around. Something told me the tap wouldn't turn off. With trembling hands, I turned it off. At almost the same instant I heard the sound of water starting from somewhere else. I muffled my scream, dropped the candle and ran upstairs to my room...

But the nightmare wasn't over yet. My drawer was no longer locked. Not knowing what else to do I threw the drawer open. This drawer, just like the rest of the floor was completely deserted. I flicked the backup lights on. Everything looked as I had left it, thankfully. My rapidly failing rationale and courage weren't equipped to handle any more surprises.

So here I am, sitting on my bed, typing my fears away in the light of the monitor screen. I am pretty convinced that power will be back soon, and so will the people on my floor and that everything has a logical explanation, the locked drawer & deserted floor, the absence of people in the entire neighborhood, including my floor, as well as the malfunctioning power back up and plumbing. All the movies also show that the paranormal world has a liking for thunder and lighting. And that ghosts don't really show themselves on still clouded early winter nights, but I have locked my room nevertheless. ..…Just in case…

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Marketing strategies: SEX sells!!

All right, so I got this fwd. and maybe it was the fact that I had been working for over 16 hours non-stop, that I temporarily lost my senses and actually decided to read through an true-predictions-don't-ignore forwards before deleting it! :P

But I am glad I did, because by the end of reading through the article I was laughing so hard that the only reason I didn't fall off my chair was the incomplete task ;) ....in case you are wondering why, here is the mirror image of the message, no technically mirror image, but you'll see what I mean

AMAZING/EXCELLENT/GREAT kisser : Scorpio, Aries, Aquarius, Leo, Cancer, Taurus

at least 5/12 people in this world are great kissers. The rest 7/12 need classes...hmm, good business idea for the highly privileged 5/12th ?? can be started with zero capital investment ... ;)

Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet/Have own unique appeal/Rare to find : Libra, Sagittarius, Gemini, Pisces, Leo

so 5/12 of the ppl in this world are rare to find...where are they all hiding?? I wonder if they have together formulated a unique formula for love , so that it remains "one-of-a-kind" ;P

Loves being in long relationships : Scorpio, Aries, Aquarius, Leo, Taurus, Sagittarius, Capricorn

wow ppl!! that more than half the world's population wants to stay committed. Divorce lawyers, get packing !!!

Always get what they want : Scorpio, Virgo, Pisces, Capricorn

Thank god I'm a Virgo!! So, if a Scorpio-Virgo pair wanted different things ...what would they finally settle for?? oh I know!! alimony!!! :D

Not one to mess with. : Leo, Sagittarius, Taurus, Aries, Libra,

Trust me don't even mess with me although I don't have my sun-sign there & I've decided not to mess with anyone...just in case ;P

Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.: Aquarius, Gemini, cancer,

I am not even sure what that means ???

Amazing in ...: Aquarius, Gemini, Sagittarius, Libra

ahem, ahem prudence forbids me to finish or comment ....

The most caring person you will ever meet, funny, intelligent , romantic, irresistible, blah blah blah:

all of them!!!( well give or take a few adjectives) :P

and here's my favorite bit

SAGITTARIUS - Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal.Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying.

LIBRA: Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet!however not the kind of person you wanna mess with ... u might end up crying...

Ok! So I really wonder how can two people, well 1/6 the population of this world actually, be identical in traits and yet have "own unique appeal" and "love of a kind" .... and if you know one of each, ( and assuming the caring nature percolates to other relationships as well) , then are you allowed to make them compete for being " the most caring", ??!! :P

oh and I almost forgot, all of the above ppl, who were unfortunate enough to not receive this mail at all, or silly enough to not read it or stupid enough to not forward it, are going to have extremely bad luck for the next 2-24 years...so maybe the 3rd world war is inevitable!!!!!!!

The mail doesn't really say anything about inverting it, and blogging it, so I hope I get the benefit of doubt... ;)

On a somewhat more serious note, why would a mail with more-or-less 5 different sentences, 8 different adjectives, ,exactly 5 different numbers for the years of bad luck and no predictions of course, right or wrong, manage to do so many rounds of senseless emails ...have we really ran out of good reading stuff and other means of keeping working blues away that badly??!!

We all agree, that sex sells. and at some point or the other, we all buy it as well, publicly or not (;))!! whether its a legendary book (and rightly so) like the Godfather, or a commercial senseless flick, all rely, and sometimes unfortunately and solely so, on some or the other form to increase the respective viewer/reader ship. And well, it wouldn't sell, if no one bought it, and no one buys things they don't like or don't want, except insurance of course ;) so I guess if ppl do like it, and buy it....then why am I complaining?? maybe, because too much of everything , is an overkill ...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Conversation starters... hmmm

So how do you start your day... with a strong coffee...
How do you greet people "Gud morning..." or "Kya haal hai" or "How are you??..."

And what reply do you get? Well, a descent good morning in return or "Bus badhia" or "I m fine".

And that ends the morning conversation.

What about other conversations? How do they generally go? Well take a situation... Two friends F1 & F2 who have met after a long time... How would the conversation go??

F1: Hey F2, long time buddy? How have you been?
F2: Hey, I am fine yaar? U tell where have you been?
F1: Well here and there doing this and that. What about you?
F2: Well, I have also been a bit of there and a bit of there and done somewhat of this and somewhat of that.
F1: So how is family?
F2: Fine, everybody is going great? And how are uncle and aunty?
F1: Well, they are great. They remember you some times?

Sorry to interrupt here, but this is where the conversation ends. And now both of them have nothing to talk about. Still they would keep pinging each other

F2: Aur what else?
F1: Bus yaar chal raha hai? Tu bata...
F2: Bus yaar kat rahi hai...

Here, there would be a bit of bitching about their lifes and their relations. And about their jobs and their companies. And then they would go on "Blah blah..."

F1: Aur bata
F2: Bus yaar
F1: Aur tu bata
F2: Bus yaar...

This goes on and on... till the two friends part...

So, here you see how the conversation goes on between two friends. And you can feel the lack of topics to discuss. This is because of the mundane life we have been living. Going to work every morning and coming from work every night tired and then sleeping. And on weekends just relaxing and sleeping or watching a movie in some mall. Thats our everyday life. We need to change it. We need something different to do, something regarding which we can talk about...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

PIN for my credit card!!

I thought infinite loops exist only as bugs in software's. I sincerely hope I made some very stupid mistake, or else, this morning's incident is bound to have a lasting impact on my notion... ;)

Worried about not being able to check my credit card outstanding statement, I decided to generate an a-pin for my credit card. And so I called up the ICICI helpline...Here's how it went...

me: dial...
them: (its ringing)...please enter your 16-digit credit card number
me: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx
them: please enter your 4 digit a-pin...
them: or to generate a pin online, press 1
me: 1
them: please enter the verification code on the reverse of your card...
me: xxx
them: please wait while we connect to a phone-banking-officer, your wait time is approx 4 minutes
...after 4-5 minutes of listening to the safe banking instructions(which if I had practiced I wouldn't be calling them up...and now that I have called them up, its obviously too late !! )....
them: good afternoon how may I assist you?
me: I need to get an a-pin generated for my cr. card
them: can I have your cr card no. please?
me: (again??) xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx
them: can I have your Date-of-birth please?
me: dd-mmm-yyyy
them: can I have your Credit Card expiry date for verification purposes?
me: (pfff)...mmm-yyyy
them: thankyou sir!! I'll transfer your call to the appropriate menu, you can generate your a-pin directly...
me: (finallly!!!) thnx..
...back to the menu....
them: please enter your 16-digit creadit card no.
me: (iiiiiiiii!!!!) xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx
them: please enter the verification code on the reverse of your card...
me: xxx
them: please enter your 4 digit a-pin...
me: oh-God-is-this happening all over again!??!
them: or to generate a pin online, press 1
me: 1
them: please wait while we connect to a phone-banking-officer, , your wait time is approx 4 minutes..........

If you can figure out where I made that seemingly un-apparent stupidity and chose the wrong option, please let me know, else... I'll call the ICICI helpline again ... :P

Friday, December 4, 2009

My anger management!!

Having a bad day? So maybe try this out!!

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take It out
on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone
you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had
forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "Could I please speak with @@@@@ %%%%%?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that Anyone
could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down
@@@@@'s correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the last
two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call
the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a*****e!" and hung

I wrote his number down with the word 'a*****e' next to it, and put it in my
desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd
call him up and yell, "You're an a*****e!" It always cheered me up.

When I thought of caller ID , I thought my therapeutic 'a*****e' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is ##### &&&&&
from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with
the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a*****e!"

One day I was outside a store, getting ready to pull into a spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot.
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . . so, I
wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first a*****e ( I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW a*****e, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at FC Road . It's a yellow house, and the car's
parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is $$$$$," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, $$$$$?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"


"Don, you're an a*****e."

It's really bad of me but, instead of yelling all the anger out on someone in and around here don't you think doing that was a good idea instead.
Well just to add to it think twice before you try doing such one, as people generally have caller ID's and if they get your no it would a real hell for you then ;) may be you end up being an 'sorry a*****e'!!