A Rotten Feeling

'A Rotten Feeling' hun ahhh... what do you mean by this? I guess nothing, come on man I wrote this because I couldn't find any better word(s). Anyways after few brain storming sessions with my inner self I realized some thing. Now I thought why not pen down so that on some other rainy day is I need to realize it any more with the same intensity that I did last time it would be easier for me get back here and read it once again. So, A Rotten Feeling as per me is any feeling or just any thought you haven't expressed it till date to the outer world, and as the days grow and nights pass it starts growing bigger by every passing moment. It's even quite possible that someday it would be all over you!! and trust me just when you would start thinking that you are in intense pain and its so intense that it could rip your soul apart. You would try to cry that out to the world & if you fail doing so, again you would be in deep shit completely buried but, that very moment something strange would happen. fushhhh... all the pain is gone, the feeling is gone & the pain is all flushed away. This is 'A Rotten Feeling'.

You would have heard people saying neither happiness nor pains does stays for too long, just in a similar way nor does feeling live long. I don't mean that feelings die off, but they do loose ground. However craving we are for that feeling a day would surely come when it would swap places from some other one. Its just matter of time when and what triggers this graveyard shift, but 'Yes' it's bound to happen. After all we are child of the great god and he can't let us be in pain or greed for much long.

I hope all that was not philosophical crap :) anyways what brought this out of me? From past many years a friend of mine had something for me but she never told me anything. We used to be just like other up-teen friends, who had gala time every time they met. Even I don't know what was on my mind all those days that I was unable to see what she used to feel. Then one day I got a call from her.She sounded really joyous, although I was not in a great mood that morning but after I heard all her giggling even I caught that infection of happiness. Then she said 'dk I met someone few days back, with whom my parents are trying to fix me up. Initially I couldn't think of all that then, I met him one day and I found him interesting. We started talking and it has been a while we are checking around. Now I feel that I have for him'. I if love was great then this was something really better than that. So finally someone around has fallen for love and the better thing they are together. I was obviously happy with that. But then suddenly I found her voice getting heavy over the phone. I was unable to understand, I mean she isn't getting married this very moment so she can still live with her parents, what she loves the most, for few more days so why is she getting so low.

'You know, for years I used to feel the same for you!! But I knew you never were inclined to any of it. Slowly from past few days that feeling started killing me when we started talking less and reached to its high. And as you always say no bliss lasts for ever, even no pain lasts for ever. This happened!! But still I miss those feelings' she said in alternating tone between sorrowfulness and happiness. I was left dumbstruck. I felt as if I'm bugged, I'm crapped, I'm lost, I'm ripped apart. I don't know but it's something much worse than worst.Now I don't want any feeling to creep inside my mind. I don't want to hurt someone & at the same time I'm kinda into liking someone else and I don't want to loose my feelings for her. Then she said 'don't worry dk, that feeling has rotten and is no more inside me it's just that love for that feeling is just left. And take my advice the feelings that you are cradling inside you, just go and express it all to your 'rab ji' before that to rotten away . Best of luck & I pray your feelings live and cherish for your lifetime!!' after this she hung up the phone.

I realized how true she was!! Really no bliss lasts forever...