Saturday, November 27, 2010

Memories are bitches...

“Memory is often unfair, on account of excessive indulgence” Alessandro Perissinotto

Memory, its a bitch, I like it calling that way, that would get laid whenever you desire but would give you some of the worst moments and form another set of similar bitches to get laid with you in future.Usually things that come from your past appear more shining than they were actually or you remember just the good of what’s in your past. Sometimes you just stop and wonder what went wrong. And then you start analyzing them and then comes the worst part. Everything that happens for a good reason. Reason my foot. How come some situations no longer hold if you were so happy and/or thoughtless? We tend to forget that whatever you decide there is a reason, whatever it is and however trivial it is. Past is charming because is so sure and fixed. Future, on the contrary is always blank, or sometimes very black (obscure). Of whatever colour, you picture it, what you know about it is practically useless. But the deception stands in the fact that instead of taking a pen and writing down the blank we are suggested by bitches to sit back and stare at what is no more your life. It simply does not exist anymore. Deceivers rely on that. The reason is that if it did not make it to stay in you present maybe was not worth of it or more simply it was not so beautiful as it appears now. And that just the reason why when you satrt anlyzing a bad bitch the very next bitch that got laid would appear as nice experience although the problem was you forgot the bitchy bitch.

Self indulgence is the sin that everybody committed at least once, in my opinion, and for this reason the word "sin" is maybe too strong. well, it happens, and it happens often, you forget the name of the girl in school who first gave a you hitch, you forget what your father once told was a bad habbit and now you're addicted to it, you forget the day you joined college, you forget the day when you first kissed your girl and then you got a flat tire back home that night, and it was raining too. Or maybe you forget something more relevant, for example you fail to remember how useless your work in your office turned out to be, or why your manager chose that argument for you, or why the girl you loved so much doesn't wants someone to love her. All this just to say it's in human nature to forget something, and then your mind prefers to forget what makes it feel uneasy.

This is not always bad, sometimes it helps, sometimes it's just fine to forget why you were happy and why you were unhappy, so you can be happy again, you don't loose hope, you can make yourself think tomorrow it will be better. But what you mean here is probably the other side of the story, when you forget what you've done wrong and then do it wrong time and again, like you get caught in a loop from which escaping is very, very difficult.

A recipe to solve the issue? Probably I'm not the best person to answer this question, got too many loops of my own to have a good answer, but as long as you can analyze your past you can extract valuable experience from it, and not everything that comes out of the attic is something that says "thou shalt not." The good part about past is that you can always remember what was good back then, you can remember you were happy back at that point in space. You say, it doesn't exist any more? I'd say this is not true, time is a dimension you cannot walk on backwards, but it is still a real dimension, in my opinion and to say that I need not be a philosopher ot a physicist. Happiness is still there, it will not help you just because of this but it exists. Everything passes, but everything existed once can exist again. In the smallest canopy that is giving me run for myself is the trusted sequence of events that have worked for me in past and I hope them to work. Maybe they would create another bad bitch sometimes or quite a few times, but again, I would forget those bitches and njoy my time with those lovely bitches from good time in past in future.

Maybe few years from now I would forget all of this too, all the worst times that I'm having now, all the bloody girly excuses that I'm facing now from the girl whom I loved the most, all the crappy thoughts that are crawling from toe to head. But now I realize that "every thing happens for a reason" is perfectly fine but not neccessarily for a good one!! They do happen, and leave you with bad street bitches. Anyways njoy your time with them too, afterall they too are bitches at the end they wouldn't stay with you after the first rays of sunlight from the next day :)

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